Oh Sweet Vernacular...how I have come to appreciate you!

Ok, this post is...how do I say this?  A little edgy, perhaps and the innuendo may make the sensitive reader blush at their screen, but it was too hilarious to not post!  So... forgive and take it as a dose of humor for the day!

There are plenty of words here that we don't understand, or that mean something different in the states.  For example, Park says, "Mom everyone swears here...like even in class in front of teachers and no one even flinches.  It's weird."  Lex had to explain to him that many of the "swear words" in the states are not considered swear words here.  Kids say the "D" word and  the "H" word all the time and it's no big deal--  like shucks or darn.  You'll find this in Bristish Children's Lit sometimes, like Roald Dahl...he's usually good for a few D's in his kids' books :) But don't say "bloody" here or you get the stink eye!  Anyway, vernacular is such a funny thing and has sent me spinning more than once since touching ground in Brisby.  But an incidence with the office staff on our first day of school probably takes the cake. I had to write it down so I could remember the humor and so Parker could truly appreciate it...one day.

The day after our school tour with the principal, we went to the school office to hand in paper work, show our passports, and make sure my kids were wearing the right uniform. The secretaries were so extremely nice and helpful.  They got the kids all registered and were buoying them up for a great experiences with their wonderful new teachers. Then they went back into a supply room to find them a few things to get started with since we hadn't even tracked down pencils at this point.  After handing them each a notebook and pencils, one cute secretary says to me in hushed tones, "I found Parker some rubbers. (*me gasp)  I feel bad though, because they are used; I couldn't find him any fresh ones but I think they'll do the job just fine if you think he'd be ok with having used ones?  Do you think used ones will bother him much?"  Of course at the first statement, "I found Parker some rubbers..."  I spun around and tried to keep my eyes from bugging out of my head. My thoughts are racing with things like, "What kind of school is this????  He's 10 folks! Not only are you offering my 10 year old a rubber, but you're really getting smutty offering him a "used" one. Is this some kind of a joke?-- I'm appalled and disgusted."  Then as she pulled out the small, white, rectangular erasers smudged with grey from some other blokes' previous errors, I felt my heart start beating once again and oxygen returning into my over-protective mothering system.  Ok, so erasers are called "rubbers" and why not?  They are made of rubber!!! And when you refer to offering someone a "used rubber" it makes sense, because they get smudgy and dingy looking but they are still very much effective at erasing mistakes! It took everything I had to not burst out laughing, hysterically hug this lady and tell her how grateful I was that kids in Australia are still kids...they make mistakes with their PENCILS and simply wipe them clean with their RUBBERS (yep, it's still tough for me to type such statements without blushing).

Anyway, this is just one example of the many, many times our family has had to say, "huh?"  and I'm sure it won't be the last.  They speak English here...right???  And just to be clear, at our house birds and bees are still winged creature that tweet and buzz!  Vernacular, Vernacular, Vernacular!!!